And Now for Something Completely Different?
by Pyro Bear
Summary: Wes's little sister sneaks out to go on her first date, not realizing that her night's going to turn out a little different than expected. Feature's gidgetgirl's Anni. Complete.


Title: And Now for Something Completely Different.  
  
Disclaimer: This is not owned by me. If it was, I wouldn't be sitting here. I'd be off playing with Connor, or maybe Spike. But I don't know yet. Oh the ideas of a naughty 15 year old *smirk* Oh, Anni doesn't belong to me, she belongs to Jen (gidgetgirl). But Jordy (or the idea of Jordy) belongs to me, I gave her the idea, so there *sticks tongue out* Okay, to let you all know, this is a realistic AU of Jen's series of stories, meaning that it could have taken place in her stories, it just didn't. Now then I do own Parker, Troy, Andy, and Eve. Now Eve's a peculiar thing because I'm not really sure if I own her and play host to her. If you see anything insane or that has to do with fire.it's her. Now then, I do now own Lord of the Rings or Monty Python. I only wish I did.  
  
Please note: This is absurdity at it's best, at least at the end ^^. Okay, and if you want to know, I wanted to stay as close to Anni as possible, Jen likes it, so I guess it's all good. Now with Jordy, he's up in the air, but I think this fic is a good example of how Jordy is going to be portrayed. A bad ass with a pension for girls that are younger than him. He's also bit of a punk, but is a rebellious sort of way.  
  
Now On to the fic!  
  
***********  
  
Anni glared at her older brother, "What do you mean I can't go out?" she stomped her foot as her hands rested on her hips. Her eyes burned with an internal fire.  
  
Older and wiser cool ones just matched her impulsive fiery ones. "Does homework mean anything to you?" Wesley snipped at her.  
  
Anni's mouth hung open in indignation, "It's Saturday, there's no homework on Saturday!" she cried.  
  
"What about Willow's?" Wesley questioned; Anni rolled her eyes in response. "Fine, but let's not forget about that little stunt you pulled yesterday. We have yet to talk about that." He was really too tired to fight, what he really wanted to do was go translate his newest book, but with the way things were shaping up, it looked like he would not have a peaceful night at all.  
  
Anni gave him a bored look that only teenagers could perfect, "The chit was asking for it if you ask me." Friday afternoon had been fun all right, some girl had commented how he had heard that Anni was some kind of juvenile that they had kicked out of England, and therefore had to move to the US. Anni had tried to correct the girl's thinking, but the girl only ended up with a broken nose and Anni with a very irritated Wesley in the principal's office.  
  
"But no one asked for your opinion, now did they?" Wesley quipped, starting to lose his temper.  
  
"Argh! I hate you!" Anni screamed in frustration.  
  
Wesley left her screaming and fuming, but before he left he turned, "Just try and do your homework, okay?" and he closed the door. It was better to compromise than start a large fight that would cause tension levels in the house to skyrocket.  
  
Annie glared at the closed door as she looked around her room. She sighed and closed her eyes, trying to test the magical boundaries of her room that Willow had placed. Damn she couldn't just make herself appear down on the street. She then looked at the window, and grinned.  
  
Gee, they thought enough to make sure she couldn't get out magically, but they didn't think to make sure she wasn't going to get out the normal conventional way, the way Buffy had gotten out a whole lot of times when she was 15. The window. Pulling on her jeans and a tight shirt, she looked at herself in the mirror, maybe it would be good if she put on a sweatshirt, it'd get cold out, and what if Wes would see her later?  
  
She shuddered at the thought of her brother possibly following her, but donned the hooded sweatshirt none the less. Opening the window, she leapt and her hands caught a hold of a branch, letting herself dangle for a moment she swung herself up and closed the window from the outside. She then looked at the ground and jumped, landing safely. She grinned as her heartbeat slowed, flying, even just for a second, always gave her a rush.  
  
Walking down the street she started to whistle a nondescript tune. Tonight was going to be fun, even if it was something she wasn't supposed to do, but wasn't that the best kind of fun there was? Picking up her page to a slight jog, she reached the Movie Theater with time to spare. Sticking her hands into her pockets, she sat down and waited for her friends to show up. It shouldn't be a long wait really; Eve was always a tad early anyways.  
  
"Bella!" a voice called from down the street. The British girl looked up to see her friend, Eve wave and jog up. "Have you see anyone else? I know Parker," she named her boyfriend, "Troy, and Andy are coming together. What do you know about Jordy?" Eve asked as she twirled her blonde hair around her fingers.  
  
Anni shrugged, "Probably as much as you, but do you know what movie we're seeing?" Anni asked as she looked through her pockets; she was looking for her wallet, which she found eventually, flipping through it she found a twenty dollar bill, probably something she had gotten from Wesley, once he had been done fuming at her.  
  
Eve grinned, "Something nice and long. Maybe The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers. That way I can drool over Orlando Bloom when Parker is not distracting me," she gave her friend a wicked grin that slightly marred her angelic looking face.  
  
Anni rolled her eyes. "Better not let anyone whose protective over you hear that, you'll never see the light of day again," she smirked, she just hoped Wes wouldn't try to follow her. Or Willow for that matter, she did like fantasy, so it could be a possibility. That was just what she needed, Willow finding her and escorting her back  
  
"So, are you excited to see Jordy?" Eve asked, her eyelashes fluttering and her smile sly with hidden meaning.  
  
Anni blushed, but quickly took a breath and regained her devil may care attitude. "Jordy's just a friend." She said hurriedly as she crossed her arms over her chest.  
  
"Sure," Eve rolled her eyes as she dragged out the single syllable word.  
  
"Bugger off," Anni muttered under her breath. Spike had taught her that one, much to the dismay of Wes. The vampire had been good for her, although he was a little brash. "Hey isn't that Parker?" Anni pointed to where a boy was trying to pretend he didn't notice the two boys following him.  
  
"Hey babe," Parker said as he greeted Eve by sticking a tongue down her throat.  
  
"Ugh, can't you guys get a room or something?" Troy asked he twin brother as he hung of his boyfriend.  
  
"Once could ask the same thing about you two," Anni said as she looked at them. "And aren't you a little too young to do that?" Anni turned her attention towards Eve and Parker as they stood in the middle of the sidewalk sucking face. It wouldn't have been so bad if she has someone to do it with. Preferably someone like Connor.  
  
Eve turned toward Anni, hands on her his, ready to retort when a van with music blasting out of it. "Thanks Dan!" Jordy popped out of the door and waved at the person.  
  
"Don't call me that!" the person called back, the then gunned the engine and drove away.  
  
"Who was that?" Troy asked. "I saw him, and he looked hot.I love guys with dyed hair!" Troy grinned as Andy pouted. "But you're cuter than any guy with dyed hair!" Andy said quickly.  
  
Jordy grinned wickedly. "My cousin. He wanted to come back to his old stomping ground, and he's staying with us. Since he's getting free rent and food, he was appointed my chauffeur," he shrugged and pulled of his sweatshirt, giving Anni a peek at his stomach area. It wasn't as well defined as Connor's but it certainly yummy to say the least.  
  
"Do any of you know what movie we're gonna see?" Jordy asked Anni, was the only one who was not playing the game of tonsil hockey.  
  
Anni shrugged, "I think Eve said something about the Two Towers, but I think it was just because she wanted some quality time in the dark with Parker," she looked at her nails, "I think I need a manicure. But anyway, I don't think I'm even allowed to see The Two Towers."  
  
Jordy cocked an eyebrow, "Why wouldn't you be allowed to see the Two Towers?" he asked.  
  
Anni shrugged, "One, I'm not supposed to be here, but then again, that never stopped me before. Two, my brother has something shoved up his ass," she used an expression she had heard Dawn use, and then continued with her list, "and it's in too deep for his 'almost girlfriend' to pull out. And Third, I'm not 13 yet."  
  
Jordy grinned as he slung an arm around Anni's shoulders. "Ooh, a younger girl. I feel so bad," he leaned down and kissed her.  
  
It was a wonderful kiss. Okay, maybe she didn't have another one to compare it to, but still it was pretty damn good. His lips were soft and his tongue darted out, just tracing the outline of her own lips. Just before she could get into it, Anni was interrupted.  
  
"Anni!" a voice yelled as she was jerked back. Looking up, Anni saw Dawn's surprised face.  
  
"Hi Dawn," Anni waved.  
  
"Didn't I hear Wesley screaming at you before? You know, like not being allowed to be here?" Dawn demanded, letting Anni go.  
  
Anni smirked, "But what Wes doesn't know won't hurt him. Promise you won't tell?" Anni gave her the puppy dog eyes she knew Hopie always used when she wanted something out of Angel.  
  
Dawn sighed, "I won't go running and use my phone to tell him. But if he asks, it's you're funeral."  
  
Anni smiled, "Thanks!" and then she went back to Jordy, "That was my cousin like person. So what movie are we going to see?"  
  
Jordy shrugged, "I don't think it's up to me. It's more up to the saliva trading couples. But I really don't think they care right about now." His eyes slid over to Eve and shuddered; "Sometimes I wonder how she could be my cousin."  
  
"Eve's your cousin?" Anni said in surprised, they didn't look anything alike. While Eve's hair was blonde, his was brown with hints of red. While her eyes were blue, Jordy's were green.  
  
"Yeah, and a bossy one at that. I hate being the youngest." Jordy said as the two of them walked into the theater's lobby and took a seat in one of the couches that sat along the wall.  
  
"I know what it's like to be the youngest, well not exactly the youngest, but close enough to it," Anni shrugged, "No respect, that's the down side of it."  
  
Jordy nodded in agreement. "I can't wait to get into high school there's freedom and girls. Lots of girls. Although my cousin said he had some odd experiences at the high school. But hopefully with the new one, there won't be. In fact, he graduated when the school blew up. He was there."  
  
Anni nodded, but thought to herself all the things Dawn had told her that had happened last year. Like high school wasn't enough, we don't they just build it on top of the mouth of hell? That would make it just that more memorable. "Hopefully," she agreed vaguely. Dawn had also filled her in on what went on when the mayor turned into that 'big icky snake thing' as she put it.  
  
"Can I kiss you again?" Jordy asked suddenly.  
  
"Huh? What?" Anni asked her head tilted to the side.  
  
"Can. I. Kiss. You?" Jordy repeated as he reached over and brushed a lock of her hair out of her face.  
  
"I believe the answer is no," a voice said from above the two lust struck teens.  
  
"Who are you?" Jordy asked indignantly, not happy that he had been interrupted.  
  
"M'name's Spike," Spike looked down on the teenage boy, his eyebrow raised, in a silent challenge.  
  
Jordy smirked, "What kind of name is Spike. The 80's are over dude."  
  
Spike frowned when he heard Jordy's comment; Anni just shoved an elbow in Jordy's general ribcage area. "Shut up will you? I'll handle this," she hissed. Turning her head up at Spike, she gave him wide-open eyes, a perfect copy of Hopie, hopefully it would work with Spike like it did with Angel. "Spike, we weren't doing anything wrong, honest."  
  
"I think you crossed the line into doing something wrong when you got out of the window pet," Spike smirked as Anni's jaw dropped open in surprise.  
  
"How'd you know?" Anni demanded.  
  
Another smirk came, "You just told me. Now why don't you be a good little girl and come with me."  
  
Anni sighed; she was stuck. It was check and mate. Thank god it was Spike and not Wesley, but maybe that wasn't such a good idea. Spike had gotten his name because he shoved railroad spike through people's head, who knows what he would do to her. Turning towards Jordy she smiled, "Well it was fun while it lasted. I'll check in with you later. That is if there is a later," she waved her fingers and turned around, walking behind Spike.  
  
"Why'd you come and get me, therefore ruining my time?" Anni demanded as she got behind Spike on his motorcycle.  
  
Spike grinned, "I heard that the Pansy-Watcher wanted to bring Red to see Lord of the Rings tonight. I knew you left, so I came and got you. I did you a favor, so instead of getting all pouty on me, you should be happy."  
  
"Oh but I am! You're my favorite vampire in the whole wide world!" Anni giggled as she hugged him.  
  
"That's bloody well be true, you've only met Angel and meself, and I'm not broody like he is. So I better well be your favorite vampire. Now I'm sorry I had to ruin your movie night. Why don't a make it up to you by exposing you to the world of Monty Python. The whelp left his collection here, and I plan on making use of it." Spike smirked at the thought of corrupting the not quite innocent 12-year-old behind him.  
  
"Monty Python?" Anni questioned in confusion she had heard of that in passing, maybe it was at one of the parties she was forced to attend. Or maybe one of her tutors had an affinity for it. She wasn't quite sure.  
  
"Just about as funny as Angel singing about Mr. Rubber Ducky." Spike answered as he pulled into the driveway. "Now lets hurry. I want to corrupt you as much as possible before your bother finds out." Spike shuffled her into the house.  
  
Anni gave Spike a bored look; "I'm already corrupted, but what more could you do?"  
  
Spike smirked, "Plenty."  
  
The next hour found the two of them sitting in the living room, deeply engrossed in Monty Python and the Search for the Holy Grail. "How could someone be so afraid of a rabbit?" Anni asked Spike as they watched the movie.  
  
"Just wait and see pet, just wait and see," Spike smirked, but soon found himself with a lap full of a frightened Anni.  
  
"Oh my god, that thing is purely evil. I think Anya had the right idea by staying away from them," she said as she crawled back to where she was, slightly embarrassed. "Don't breathe a word of this to anyone," she added.  
  
"I won't. Now be quiet. I love this movie," Spike told her and turned his attention back to the movie.  
  
They sat in silence, and occasional bursts of giggle fits came from Anni while Spike chuckled once or twice. By the time the video had rewound itself, Spike was already ready with Monty Python's Flying Circus, the skit show that featured many of the men dressing in drag.  
  
"What is it with the British and their odd interest in drag?" Anni asked Spike as she watched the last video.  
  
Spike snorted, "I don't really know that luv, but it certainly adds a special bit of humor to it, now doesn't it?"  
  
"I suppose you're right," Anni said stiffly as she settled back into the couch.  
  
Not an hour later Wesley and Willow walked through the door, with Willow talking on and on about the movie they had just seen. "That was so cool!" Willow exclaimed, "The flooding, ohh it was so pretty, as was Aragorn. He's pretty, very, very, pretty. And Arwen was pretty too. Everything was very, pretty. Don't you think?" Willow looked up at Wesley.  
  
"It was," Wesley agreed, albeit vaguely. The movie had been okay, but his book. He could hear it calling his name as he spoke to Willow.  
  
The Willow was interrupted in her critique of the movie with Anni's giggled and her plea to have Spike rewind the video and play the last skit again. "Hell's grannies! What will they come up with next? Wait no, they've come up with enough! I'm going to have nightmares about that god damn blasted rabbit for weeks!"  
  
Wes turned to see a laughing Anni, "Anni, what are you doing down here?" he asked, eyebrow raised. She was supposed to be upstairs. But of course he knew that she would never stay up there, but sometimes it was nice to lie to ones self.  
  
"I got bored, Spike decided to corrupt me for a bit. Not that he had to try very hard. Monty Python is absolutely hilarious!" she said in a tone only a teenager could produce. She then suddenly switched demeanors, "Wes, why didn't you show this to me before, it is rather entertaining," she said the last part with a sugary sweetness that again, only a teenager could produce and perfect.  
  
Wesley scowled, "Monty Python is complete rubbish, why would grown men prance around in women's fashions?" he snipped. The whole thing, he thought it was just a waste of time, it had entranced one of his friends at the Watches Academy, taking the guy's attention that he could have used to study.  
  
"You're just jealous that you can't have women's finery can you? Just let your inner Nancy-boy out will you? It'd make the tension in this room a lot less," Spike cracked, forgetting this was the Wesley that had gone to LA, had gotten his throat slashed, been abandoned by his closets friends and had an affair with a heartless lawyer bitch  
  
Wesley's eyes shifted his attention to the blond vampire; "I didn't say anything to you, did I? So please kindly shut up." His voice was snipped and somewhat harsh. It had been a long day, all he wanted to do was go up to his room and to his book.  
  
Anni grinned precociously at her older brother; "You said a bad word. You said shut up!" she said in a teasing manner, adopting the singsong voice Hopie commonly used when doing the same thing.  
  
Wesley glared at her. "Your 12, not 2. Grow up." He couldn't help but keep the sparkle of laughter out of his eyes. If she wanted to play at an intellectual level, he would play with her.  
  
Anni smirked, "I don't have to do that for another 6 years, or so says US law. See school is a useful, once and awhile that is."  
  
"School is useful all the time!" Willow remarked, "You got to see friends, go to class sometimes, hook up with boys, oh and save the world." She counted off with her fingers as a visual.  
  
"Saving the world is something I don't really feel like exposing her to," Wesley said, still standing, he then looked at Anni, "Or boys."  
  
Anni looked crestfallen for a bit, "But boys are fun," she said plainly, as if it was the most obvious statement in the world, which it was.  
  
Wesley looked horrified at the thought of his little sister having contact with the grubby creatures commonly known as hormonal teenage boys. "Teenage boys should be locked up with their lustful thoughts and only their right hands to keep them company. There is no way I am letting you associate with them unless there is someone there that is able to keep their hormones in check."  
  
Anni turned to him, "You're no fun at all," she quipped. Coming to Sunnydale, she had to admit was one of her better ideas. After coming here she found that she liked being a teenager, and putting Wesley on edge. It was fun watching him all sorts of colors, from red to purple. She was trying for blue next. Anni turned and looked at her older brother. "We are no longer the knights that say Ni! We are now the Knights who say.... "Ekki- Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!" she smirked as Spike fell over laughing and Willow and Wesley just gave her strange looks, taking one last look, she turned on her heel and headed for the stairs.  
  
"Annibella," Wesley called out to her, she stopped and looked at him. Her eyebrow was raised as if to ask, yes? "When I tell you, you can't go out, you can't go out. Don't try and sneak out, it just complicates matters."  
  
*************  
  
Whee! It's done! It has a lot of insanity in it, and it has something to do with me thinking that Spike would enjoy Monty Python while Wesley wouldn't. And for all of you that think that Wesley's too well, poufy? Well he's just our little watcher boy at heart, with some roughness thrown in. But he still loves his books. ^^ Just follow along, m'kay? Pretend you know what I'm talking about. I hoped you liked this story, now for god sakes, read and review. I worked hard on this fic! I didn't pay attention in class for this fic (or maybe it was my Harry Potter one, hard to tell) to you better all review, hear me!  
  
Oy, if we're on the subject of reviewing, read/review Saving the Series by The Four, which I am a part of. Cause you all love me, right? Oh I always recommend Two of One, of course! Oh Connor AU by Ivorycat is a favorite of mine. I'm also working on a new fic, so you all have to read that.  
  
*smirk* Oy this is long. But please follow all directions and no chaos will ensue. Ta! 


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